How envious I was of the people who could. Not only strong men and women, but also older people seemed to enjoy it so much and feel so at ease in it, whereas I was standing there on the side gripped by fear. We all have our fears, some open and some of a more secret nature. I’m not afraid to speak in front of thousands people, or climb high mountains. But, for the past 20 years I’ve been living in a beautiful location, where people come from everywhere for vacation and especially to enjoy a marvelous coastline with its hundreds islands and…I’ve been afraid of the sea and particularly to swim. To be precise, to swim where you can’t touch. To the point that I didn’t really enjoy going to the beach, probably because I had to face this problem every time, a certain attraction to just dive in and a big fear that kept me from it.
But this year things changed.
This spring time my secret prayer was that I could overcome. I “preached” a lot of sermons to others about overcoming fears and that it’s never too late to learn something new, so now it was time to do it myself.
At the beginning of the summer I practiced in a swimming pool and realized that basically I knew how to swim but not to tread water, so that’s the reason why so far my whole affair in the water had been tense and unpleasant. And once I learned that, the glorious moment came where I stood there, past my height, simply treading water.
That was a victory and I thought by now I was ready to face the sea, but it wasn’t quite so quick. I stood there on the beach for some long moments, watching that beautiful blue mass of water and felt again that paralyzing fear around my legs.
I went again a few days later and the same thing happened. The sea wasn’t like the swimming pool, I was told by many.
Then the magic day came when I listened to my husband’s invitation to just let go and swim a little further…and I did! Tears were streaming down my face and the same emotion overwhelmed me as when I was a little child and won some big prize.
I was finally swimming far, where my feet couldn’t touch the bottom and it was an exhilarating feeling, finally letting go of the shore!
I would have shouted it to the whole world, but realized that billions of people know how to swim, and in reality it’s not such a big thing.
But it is for me and that’s why I’m writing about it.
Needless to say, this experience taught me some invaluable lessons:
- “There is no fear in love” – yes- first of all I had to really find lots of love for the sea: secretly I did anyway, but it had to reach a certain level of fascination, motivation and desperation. In other words, nothing lukewarm.
- “Let go and let God do it” – how many times did I hear that quote, but learning to tread water really brought it to life. The more I let go and relax, the easier it gets.
- “It’s never to late to learn something new” – I’m not so young anymore, but learning new things does keep you young! There’s a balance to be found in admitting your limits and striving to beat them, but somewhere in the middle there’s no static place. You need to keep moving and progressing till your dying day, or you’ll start solidifying. This small, BIG personal victory meant a lot not only to my physical fitness, but also to my spirit, who got tested and renewed in the process.
So, I had a wonderful summer and went swimming quite a bit. My son just came to visit me and his first words were: ”Mom, you have a tan!” His greatest surprise was when I explained to him how I got it, as he knew of this long time fear of mine. Now, on to the next one…
The Love Log 